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Read the headline. / Roberto Schmidt/AFP; Mladen Antonov/AFP via Getty Images; Win McNamee/Getty Images

Today ends spring break for many families. This joyous period of forced quality time culminates, for some Americans, in the sacred rite of filling single-use plastics with congealed high-fructose corn syrup ellipsoids for a bacchanal presided over by a man-sized leporine abomination.

Meanwhile, the Baltimore bridge collapse and its consequences dominated the news cycle. Join us here for non-roadway-related politics, irony and trivia. Warning: Contains mimes.

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