Fast Forward

Fast Forward

Bobby Oneill

Law & Order at the GBI

By Bobby OneillPosted August 27, 2012 7:42pm (EDT)
Law & Order at the GBI

In the Fast Forward system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the crew, who investigate cool jobs; and the people at Georgia Bureau of Investigation, who have the cool jobs. These are their stories. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8lDYrvTILc.

9:00 Decatur, Ga- GBI Headquarters Parking Lot

The Fast Forward team arrives on the scene. Bobby the PA steps outside the van. He takes in a deep breath. The air has the scent of freedom and justice. It’s time to lay down the law, and by law I mean alternative educational programming for Georgia’s youth. The team pushes through the front doors like they are opening birthday presents full of knowledge. They scour the GBI Museum for leads that the Georgia Bureau of Investigation is, in fact, a cool place to work. Fast Forward is pleased with what they find. It looks like this will be an easy case. Bobby finds an exhibit featuring an alien found in Georgia that turned out to just be a shaved primate in a jar. Apparently it was all a hoax by two brothers... Bobby is convinced they are hiding the real extraterrestrial at the Hardee's next door.

9:00 Decatur, Ga- GBI Headquarters Lobby/Museum

Just before Bobby the PA finds out the real story about the alien by usurping the role of Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, Deputy Director George Herrin enters the room and begins the tour. The first place Fast Forward enters is the mock trial room. This is where GBI employees are educated in court etiquette and prepare themselves for when they have to step up to the big leagues and testify in court. If you’re wondering, I did ask, and they CAN handle the truth...

10:30 Decatur, Ga- GBI Headquarters Evidence Room

We go in to the evidence holding areas. Apparently if Bobby the PA touches the evidence it will “tamper” with it, but he’s still convinced they are keeping him from the alien. Meanwhile, his bosses ask relevant questions to Deputy Director Herrin. FACT #102: The Georgia Bureau of Investigation organizes and holds many different types of evidence from cases around Georgia. Chances are, if you see it on tv, they have it at their HQ.

11:00 Decatur, Ga- GBI Headquarters Fingerprint Lab and Firearm Dept.

Fast Forward gets the “first-hand” experience at the Fingerprint Lab. Get it... fingerprint... hand... Anyways, the talented techs here are able to pull fingerprints off of almost anything found in a crime scene (soda can, cigarette pack, Pokemon card; you name it!) Bobby the PA’s fingerprints are found on the container of missing GBI pens... awkwardness ensues. The Firearm Department holds various equipment used to help solve cases. They have a large water container that they shoot guns in to get the proper trajectories of specific guns. Ammo fills the walls. Bobby the PA is not granted clearance. Touche, GBI.

12:30 Decatur, Ga- GBI Headquarters

Lunch Time.

I could go on about our trip at the Georgia Bureau of Investigation, except for the fact that half of it is confidential (or at least that is what I tell myself) and when I get food on the brain I can’t get it out. As for this case... The Georgia Bureau of Investigation employs Serologists who are able to find DNA on almost anything, fingerprint specialists who can find your fingerprint almost anywhere, gunshot specialists who can tell where and how you fired a gun, special agents to investigate crime scenes, and more. It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to deduce that this is a really cool place to work. I also deduce that the answer for the case of extraterrestrials in Georgia is the same as how many licks it will take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. The world may never know...

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